Yes we can! (get canned)

I am being fired/laid off/disposed off/sent off to early retirement/escorted from… my present place of employment. They’ve finally had it with my antics. Folks, learn from my mistakes is all I can advise. If you come in after 10am thinking you’re early, take a long lunch thinking you deserve it, and browse the internet all day in search of a perfect career, it will eventually reflect on your performance. I’ve worked out a little formula (during work hours of course): The output (tasks done in 1 day) should equal the input (tasks being given to you) times at least 5 task assignees. My output equaled input X (number of personal emails in my inbox) plus input Y (yahoo news) plus input Z (youtube videos) plus ½ of an assigned task grabbed at the last moment from a boss picked at random (I can’t/don’t want to prioritize if my life depended on it). Basically, I’ve dug myself into a bit of a hole and jumped in via cannonball without any H2O present. That being said…..

I cannot be happier about my current situation. Finally! The push I need to go out there and put my skills to good use. I feel like I just graduated college again. No job, no money, no real acquired skills, but more expensive tastes.

I picture the unemployment office like an AA meeting. “Hello, my name is Diana, and I need a job”. Then I relapse and collect my check from the government.