last year summed up

If someone told me a year ago that I’d be switching “professions” I would’ve laughed in their face and continued my slow and painful decline into single and unemployed middle age, but it just so happened. The story began a year ago when I up and decided that I no longer want to do what I am doing and that life has no meaning, yatta yatta. Can anyone guess what happens to an employee when they show up to work on a daily basis all disheveled and with a facial expression that screams louder than DMX to move and get out the way? I’ll tell ya. You get 3 months probation, no responsibilities, a nice severance package and a touching good-bye letter managing to somehow conceal the fact that you are fired. Breaking up is one thing but being informed that your services are no longer in the highest of demands and that the train you’ve been taking is about to have one less passenger on it, in an it’s not you it’s me way is certainly a feat to accomplish. Kudos to HR!
The most memorable day for me was the day after my last day of work. I woke up realizing there is nowhere that I need to be on this particular weekday and fell back asleep (which if you ask me is time well spent when it’s summer and you live by the beach). I woke up just in time to convince myself that this day I will remember forever because it marks the first day of the rest of my life (not to be confused with all the birthdays that my best friend and I decided to remember forever but only managed to remember one). Well my day was a special (July 1st? I think) day and even though I slept through most of it there will always be a special place in my heart for it (although I have plans to replace it with the day after I lose my next job). But enough sentimentality.
Fast forward a year and I am once again gainfully employed. I can’t say that my attitude about life has changed at all but I did realize that there is no way that someone with such an outlook can stay in the same place for longer than a year. The minute you want to build gallows in the lunch room that can hold up to 80 bodies (give or take a few), you need to start with the man in the mirror and make that change (to the next office/career/country/relationship, lucky enough to have you).