BODIES experience

There’s a reason why you don’t always get to do the things you want to do. It is God’s way of looking out for your best interests. For instance, I have been planning to go to the BODIES exhibit for quite some time now and something always got in the way (mainly laziness). I also always wanted to try the virtual ride by Seaport (I assumed it was a roller coaster but was never sure) and finally my curiosity got the best of me. I killed two birds with one stone purely on a whim one day. I attended the exhibit first. My expectations were to get a look inside the human body. I did get a look inside, and outside, and from the side; however, I may as well have been looking at the wax figures from Madam Tussauds. These plastinated dead criminals from China were rearranged in various poses (mostly sports-related), some holding basketballs, others soccer balls, and only one guy holding a conductor’s baton (I guess we were the orchestra). Basically either all these guys were athletes or the only attractive pose a corpse can assume is with a ball of some sort next to its head. Although most of the flesh was stripped for some strange reason the eyeballs were left intact-apparently there weren’t enough balls there already. Needless to say I got bored five minutes into it. There were also separate organs (both healthy and diseased so you can compare and wonder which of those you happen to be carrying around inside). Thankfully next to these inanimate objects there were explanations consisting of “This is your liver” (my liver or the liver of that guy holding the soccer ball?) and “This is your liver with cirrhosis” (I didn’t know I was afflicted but thanks for the warning). I also started examining the other attendees of the exhibit and listening to their conversations. Most of them were looking at what was being displayed without bothering to read anything the poor dead guys had written about themselves. One woman said to her husband: “This is different honey, do you feel like having Chinese afterwards?” What was the dead guy thinking when he heard this I wonder? “Does the sight of my sliced brain remind you of vegetable Lo Mein?”

As creepy as all this was I found it fascinating as well especially when I got to the dissected arteries and veins. There were all kinds of aortas and such floating in liquid. It made me think of armor for some reason; really flimsy armor which needs protection. I also wanted to know where these bodies came from and why weren’t they properly disposed of? I read that these were unclaimed corpses. Is this the fate one has to suffer because one’s relatives were too lazy to come and collect the remains? What kind of cruel relatives are these anyway? They better have a good excuse for letting their loved ones stand on display glaring angrily at the public unable to speak because their tongues were cut out. No one leaves a will with the instructions: “Please do not bury or cremate me, I want my skeleton to be placed in all kinds of awkward positions so people can look at me and get the munchies”.

Then I went inside the virtual ride. What do you know? It happened to be a roller coaster. I wasn’t lucky enough to have the ride all to myself. At the last minute a father got in with his son. As soon as the ride began the son started screaming he’s scared and wants to get off. I offered to press the stop button but the father was too embarrassed to let me. When the ride was over he said: “I hope we didn’t ruin the experience for you”. No you didn’t. You made my already ruined experience even worse. Why don’t you take your son to the BODIES exhibit across the street? I’m sure he’ll love it.