Continuing to spew

   Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert would be lucky to have someone like me as a guest on their show. I’m just sayin’. In my heart of hearts I feel that my presence in the “hot seat” would be interesting. I’m aware that it can go both ways-either hilarious or atrocious-but it’s a win/win situation; both would be appealing to watch. I also wouldn’t mind working “behind the scenes”. I’m sure I’d find ways to spice things up even more than they already are. This is not intended to be a conceited statement but a purely factual one. Shamefully I know very little about politics but given the opportunity I will catch up just enough to be able to make fun of politicians just like I make fun of everyone else. After all politics is no different from the entertainment industry except entertainers are actually expected to entertain and politicians do so by accident. It seems easy enough. Just catch all their mistakes and wrongdoings and use it to your advantage. It might be wrong of us to hold their silly remarks against them but we do it anyway. Why? Because we can, right Obama? We are also willing and able (and bored and angry) and they are in our direct line of sight. How could our President do something wrong? Doesn’t he know people look up to him? He cannot disappoint! But he does, and will continue doing so until his term is up and what he does then will be irrelevant. My advice to him is that he save all the humiliating actions and sayings until he’s comfortably settled on some ranch and then write a book titled “All the stupid things I could’ve said and done but chose not to because of Diana’s advice” (of course I deserve a mention in the title of his upcoming book, did you think otherwise?).

   Who am I to intermingle with the likes of Stewart, Colbert and Obama you ask? My reply is simple. I am a person who’s kept quiet my whole life and finally decided to dispense her advice onto anyone and everyone. From now on I will intervene as much as I can and not because I’m passionate about things but simply to put my thoughts ‘out there’ (for lack of a specific address). Although I’m not a parent myself I will still tell those who are that they’re doing a so-so job. What’s to stop me? If I see you littering and I happen to be feeling particularly environmentally conscious that day then I will ask you to pick up your trash. My intentions are not to interfere in anyone’s business hence I will not stick around to see the outcome. It’s not like I will follow you home unless you do as I say but you WILL hear me out and you WILL do as I say. Whether you’re the most important person on the planet or the village idiot I will make my opinion known to you. I finally figured out that to make people listen while clouding their judgment enough to think you’re right is to just tell them to and sound confident about it. Don’t let your voice betray you by being shaky or faltering. I told Stewart and Colbert to have me on their show and they will. I told Obama to stop fooling around and he will. I will tell everyone else what I think they should or shouldn’t do and they will do it. Those who have conviction hold all the power.