The burden of being an adult prodigy

Why is it that only children get to be prodigies? What if you’re an adult prodigy? I wish people would stop giving all their oohs and aahs away to all the four year olds who don’t appreciate it anyway. All they’re thinking about is poop while they’re playing the piano with their left toe. They probably feel special but would rather be watching Teletubbies. Children don’t make the conscious decision to be a prodigy. They just are or aren’t but as an adult it is possible to wake up one morning and decide that today is the day that you’re switching careers to become a prodigy. Any adult can do this. Child prodigies use their innate gifts but adults can use the experience they’ve accumulated over the years. Through the process of trial and error you will eventually find your niche. I will vouch for you. There should be no age discrimination when it comes to being a prodigy. If you feel like being a middle-aged or even an eighty-five year old prodigy more power to you. This way you can tell your children that you’re an adult prodigy and they can look forward to becoming one even if they missed their chance of being the child or teen prodigy. Maybe this discovery will make you forget you have Alzheimer’s, just in time to forget that you were about to become an ancient prodigy. Who said that the brain deteriorates after a certain age? Even if that’s true maybe the deterioration can lead to the discovery of your prodigious self. You can’t shut people out just because they discovered their talents at a later stage in life.

Of course you are the only one responsible for realizing and proclaiming yourself a prodigy because others aren’t exactly on the lookout for you special skills. They are too busy examining children. Adults watch their kids so closely that the poor child’s every move is scrutinized. “Look honey, our son just placed his left leg behind his right one, oh my God, do you know what this means? He is destined to be a great gymnast or ballet dancer or maybe even architect! We need to send him to ballet, gymnastics and engineering classes ASAP. It’s not like he has anything better to do”. Maybe instead of examining their children people should start examining themselves. For instance, if you did a little dance on your way to work this morning then make a B-line straight for the dance studio to improve your skills. Call your boss and let him know you’ve just discovered you may possibly be an adult prodigy and he’ll understand because secretly he’s been watching himself hoping for the same. The only negative side of this is that soon there may be too many adult prodigies walking around and people will start eyeing each other suspiciously to see who else is about to surface. The hot topics in the lunch room will be “Have you seen Bruce today? He was pouring coffee with one hand while reading the newspaper with the other! Who does he think he is? The new multi-tasking prodigy?” That’s going to be the end of poor Bruce. Multi-tasking is going to take on a whole new meaning on your resume. This guy can multitask! Lets not hire him then; we’ve got enough prodigies loose in this office. This will progress until everyone sitting at the meeting will be a self-proclaimed prodigy of something or other. Instead of names people will use their skills to identify each other. “Hey computer software prodigy have you watched any good movies lately? No, coffee-making prodigy, why don’t you go ask movie-critic prodigy?”

Life is not fair so lets even it out a bit at least with this whole ‘who gets to be a prodigy’ thing.