Women's tennis

An example of men successfully manipulating women into thinking they’re being taken seriously while wearing the shortest skirts possible and making the loudest, most frightful, giving-birth-like/being stabbed noises. I’m not sure that anyone cares whether or not the ball actually makes it across the net. The real competition here, as everyone knows, is who can let out the sexiest, electrically-charged, feline growl. Admittedly, some unattractive ladies slip through the cracks but the favorites seem to be tall, blond models with mediocre abilities and more endorsement deals than Peyton Manning (for the record I have no idea who this guy is but according to Google he has the most endorsement deals).

Since these sounds really irk me I am not a fan. I prefer ping-pong anyway. It takes serious skill, craftsmanship and precise hand-eye coordination. I am proud to say that I dabble in it a little myself. Who am I kidding? I am a downright pro. If only I learned to howl without feeling stupid I’d definitely promote myself into playing ping-pong professionally. I already have a closet full of short skirts and blond extensions, now bring on the endorsement deals!